Unofficial definitions - read, reflect and contemplate

• Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
• Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
• Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.
• Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
• Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
• Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
• Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
• Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
• Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
• Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
• Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
• Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
• Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
• Father: A banker provided by nature.
• Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.
• Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
• Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
• Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
• Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
• Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
• Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
• Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
• Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.
• Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.